Humans experience "stress anytime we evaluate environmental demands to be beyond our ability to cope successfully" (Brené Brown). A perceived inability to meet the pressure of rising expectations inspires both an emotional and physiological response in the body, one inextricably linked to the other. We have strong thoughts and feelings about being stressed, and our bodies respond to that emotional input with a cascade of neurochemicals to prepare us to fight or flee.
When the experience of stress becomes too much, many of us attempt to deal with it by reducing the demand or increasing our capacity, but too few effectively manage the emotional and physiological impacts of stressful conditions.
When prolonged stress is ineffectively managed, it inevitably leads to burnout and, ultimately, total shutdown. If you’ve ever looked forward to a full weekend of activities, only to end up binging and doom-scrolling on the couch for two days, you know what I mean. To effectively manage stress and avoid burnout, we must not only balance capacity and demand but also support stress recovery and develop stress resilience.
But what does it really mean to be stressed and what can we do to build stress resilience in our busy lives?
I’m going to assume that at this point in your professional life, it’s not particularly helpful for a coach to point out the obvious. Investing in practical strategies to manage stress means evaluating the demands associated with performing successfully in your various roles in life and doing what you can to prioritize and accomplish tasks, delegate responsibility, and just stop doing anything that exceeds your capacity to produce. The practical management of stress is simple, although easier said than done.
The emotional aspects of stress are a bit more difficult to manage. Stress triggers us into feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and insecure. It makes us question our competence to fulfill the roles we inhabit and feel woefully inadequate, especially in comparison to those around us who seem to effortlessly do it all. Instead of coping with our emotional experiences with self-compassion and advocacy, too many of us try to cope by numbing ourselves with our distraction of choice. Perhaps there is a better way to cope with the emotional toll of stress in our lives.
Key Strategies for Managing Stress
Set Boundaries
Establishing boundaries means honestly evaluating your capacity and holding firm in your decisions about what you will and will not do. It involves knowing your limits and how to say no without guilt or fear of repercussion.
Cultivate Connections
Building and nurturing relationships with others can provide emotional support and serve as a powerful antidote to stressful circumstances. Have a few go-to people you can call to vent, get advice, or take your mind off things for a while.
Show Self-Compassion
Practicing self-compassion involves being kind to yourself and acknowledging personal limitations without self-judgment. Think of the support you’d offer to someone you care about and make sure your self-talk is no less sympathetic.
Our physical response to stressful conditions also demands our time and attention. Some of us are so used to living with stress that hunched shoulders, a clenched jaw, and elevated heart rates have become the norm. We ineffectively manage stress, neglect supporting our bodies through stressful situations, and allow the physiological impacts to accumulate to the point where we find ourselves dealing with digestive issues, tension headaches, sleep disturbances, and high blood pressure. It’s madness.
Successfully managing the physiological impacts of stress requires meaningful intervention on two fronts: when the body is reacting to stress and developing stress resilience.
In the Moment
When stressful situations mount and you feel your body responding with sweat, a quickened heart rate, shaking, nausea, and/or muscle tension, it’s time to regulate your nervous system. Practice taking long, slow, deep breaths, going for a walk, meditating, or calling a loved one. These regulating habits signal to our reptilian brains that fight-or-flight responses aren’t necessary and allow executive functioning to prevail.
For the Long Haul
Developing stress resilience means mitigating the body’s physiological response to the stressors in our lives. It involves all the things we know we’re supposed to do but don’t (self-included). Eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, meditating, and finding a creative outlet are all stress resilience strategies because they allow us to start and end the day with the brain chemistry we need to effectively tolerate the stressors that come our way. If you take better care of yourself, stress will have a diminishing impact on your physical and mental health.
Consider this your reminder that effective stress management is essential for navigating the demands of modern life. It’s no longer a badge of honor or a sign of dedication to run ourselves into the ground with commitments and obligations that leave us feeling depleted, unhappy, and unfulfilled. I believe we can be the generation that gives up on the stress and pressure that comes with meeting other people’s unrealistic expectations and learns to fiercely protect the contributions we make in our lives. The quality of the gifts you bring into this world are worth protecting; because if you don’t, who will? Don’t allow stress to diminish all the wonderful things you bring to your work, your family, your friends, and your life and see what incredible possibilities await on the other side of a carefully curated investment of your time and energy. You’ve got this.
Danielle Terranova is the voice behind Leadership Lessons with Danielle.
She has been an executive coach since 2015 and owner of Terranova Consulting, LLC since 2019.
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