Coaches are commonly called in to work with leaders for one of two reasons.
Either a company has a high performer on their hands, and they want to optimize their potential (aka “We can’t promote you just yet, but we don’t want to lose you, so here’s a coach!”) or they have a leader who’s talented at driving results, but challenged when it comes to playing nicely with others while they do it.
The name of the game with clients in the first group is identifying and capitalizing on their existing strengths. The second group can present more of a challenge from a developmental perspective because the traits and qualities responsible for the success they achieve are the very same that can make them challenging to work with. Driven and goal-oriented at work easily turns to steamrolling, speaking truth to power can border on obstinance, and a detailed approach to execution can quickly become micromanagement. The list goes on and on.
A coach’s job is not to help clients with damaged working relationships eradicate problematic behaviors, but instead, teach them to recognize the tipping point when their professional virtues become vices. The name of the game is developing self-awareness and learning to wield our professional strengths with some discernment. Lucky for you, you have a coach in your back pocket who knows how to help you do it.
Here, I'll show you how to identify professional strengths, anticipate the situations and circumstances that result in unfortunate side effects when those strengths are overused, and explore alternative strategies that help to maintain positive connections with colleagues.
Try this exercise with me.
1. Download this free worksheet or draw two lines on a piece of paper, dividing it into thirds.
2. On the left side, write down all of the ways you create value for your organization, boss, team, and function. Think of your professional behaviors that have received positive feedback and add them to the list. Bonus points if you actually ask a few trusted colleagues what they appreciate about your professional efforts.
3. In the center, list the unintended consequences and unfortunate side effects when you lean too hard into your strengths or overuse your professional contributions. Think through the critical feedback you’ve received and consider the potential negative impact on your working relationships. Bonus points here if you can also list the people, circumstances and issued that precipitate the tipping point into overuse territory.
4. Now, I’ll throw the same gauntlet down for you that I do for my clients. Instead of accepting fractured professional relationships as the inevitable consequence of the value you bring, challenge yourself to strategize how to continue meaningful contributions without the negative consequences on your working relationships.
How can I maintain my reputation for getting things done and avoid steamrolling those who identify problems without solutions?
How can I continue to protect the company against risky strategies and let my boss know we are aligned in pursuing the same goals?
How can I maintain my standards of quality work and detailed execution and give my team some room to learn from their mistakes?
I create value in my organization and on my team using these strengths. | These are the negative consequences I sometimes experience when creating that value. | Ideas on how to preserve my strengths and mitigate my limiting behavior. |
The column to the right is where the leadership masters separate themselves from the managers who hit their heads on the ceiling of growth way too early. It’s not about the binary choice of turning a behavior on or off. It’s about leveraging our experience and expertise to wield our professional strengths with the discernment they require to deliver results and preserve relationships while we do it. Leadership masters challenge themselves to find the and between two seemingly contradictory goals instead of the or, thinking about how they can continue to deliver value and mitigate the unfortunate byproduct of overusing professional strengths.
Why do this?
I can assure you of the efficacy of this exercise from three perspectives. The coach in me has enough education in organizational behavior to know this is one of the pitfalls common to all of us. We overuse our strengths and often forget we have other skills at our disposal that may take more time to use, but are ultimately more effective.
The executive in me can easily remember a day when I struggled with the same process of discernment. Sure, I got things done and delivered results, but I fractured a lot of relationships in the process that I depended on to achieve higher levels of success.
The human in me recognizes that this is how we are. We’re clunky and heavy-handed with our gifts when we join the working world. It often takes a few hard lessons and maybe a helpful teacher or two 😊 before we finally recognize how to deploy our professional strengths with some finesse.
Here’s your chance to develop self-awareness and use some introspection to elevate your professional potential. You’re fully capable of leveraging your strengths and strategizing to preserve quality partnerships with colleagues by minimizing unnecessary consequences.
You’ve got this.
Danielle Terranova is the voice behind Leadership Lessons with Danielle.
She has been an executive coach since 2015 and owner of Terranova Consulting, LLC since 2019.
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