The ability to build strong partnerships is no longer just a nice-to-have leadership quality—it’s a minimum requirement. Yet, despite the increased emphasis on collaboration and teamwork, few organizations provide leaders with the support they need to build meaningful connections with colleagues. Much of what we think we know about building relationships is grounded in myths that often lead to disconnected partnerships.
Myth 1: No one likes small talk and it’s a waste of time.
Small talk can seem trivial and distracting from more important work-related conversations, but it also provides a vital gateway to more meaningful conversations in the future. When you take the time to engage in seemingly insignificant exchanges, share a bit about yourself, and remember and follow up on what was shared, this genuine interest in your colleagues’ lives can blossom into deeper connections over time.
Myth 2: Friendships and strong partnerships are the same thing
It’s a common misconception that you need to be friends with your colleagues to have strong partnerships. While friendships can enhance work relationships, they’re not a prerequisite. What’s more important is mutual respect and a shared commitment to common goals. Focus on building respect by demonstrating competence, reliability, and fairness in your interactions with colleagues. In return, acknowledge their expertise and contributions to naturally develop stronger professional partnerships.
Myth 3: Strong Partnerships have no conflict
Many of us are uncomfortable with conflict and avoid it at all costs, leading to unresolved issues that can fester and ultimately damage relationships. However, constructive conflict, when handled correctly, can strengthen partnerships by fostering open communication and mutual understanding. Approach conflict with curiosity and a problem-solving mindset. To build respectful partnerships, face forward, avoid litigating the past, and work to find mutually beneficial solutions.
Myth 4: Team-building activities are the best way to bond
If you’ve suffered through trust falls and karaoke bars, you know that traditional team-building activities can feel forced, awkward, and superficial. Strong partnerships aren’t built through organized activities but through shared experiences and a collective commitment to a common purpose. Offer to support something that really matters to a colleague, join them in a “foxhole” to solve a difficult challenge, or vulnerably ask for their advice or support in something that matters to you. These activities forge strong connections with colleagues that can withstand the inevitable disagreements and differing opinions that can damage weaker bonds.
Myth 5: I’m too busy to worry about relationships
Of all the workplace relationship myths, this is the one I hear most often. It’s also the most damaging to leaders who care about evolving their careers. The higher up the organizational ladder you go, the less your job is about results and the more it’s about relationships. If you can’t demonstrate an ability to prioritize relationship-building as your responsibilities grow, you may inadvertently limit your career trajectory. Make time for small talk, set aside moments to connect with colleagues on what matters to them, and be willing to share some of the struggles you’re facing. Manage your response to stress, take a few deep breaths, and set an intention to genuinely connect with those you depend on for success.
Remember, building strong connections at work isn’t about being a social butterfly, the life of the party, or a pushover. It’s about being authentic and committed to building respectful relationships with those who share common goals. Let go of outdated myths that push you to be everyone’s best friend, and embrace strategies that lead to the kind of strong relationships that support you throughout your career. The next time you feel stressed, disconnected from your colleagues, and frazzled from one meeting to the next, ask yourself how you can use that moment to cultivate a stronger partnership. You might be surprised by the difference that one question can make.
You’ve got this.
Danielle Terranova is the voice behind Leadership Lessons with Danielle.
She has been an executive coach since 2015 and owner of Terranova Consulting, LLC since 2019.
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