We’ve all been there before: you’re in the middle of a collaborative effort with colleagues who contribute their fair share, when suddenly, an overzealous and enthusiastic “Tryhard” comes in and disrupts the energy of the group. Their excessive expectations, commitment, and dedication to the task is a mismatch to the efforts of the group that leaves everyone else feeling suffocated, annoyed and even a bit intimidated. But why does a Tryhard's eagerness bother us so much?
It’s not just about their commitment to excellence or their relentless pursuit of perfection. It’s the underlying impact on team dynamics, the pressure it adds…but most of all, it’s the subtle implication that perhaps their efforts aren’t about the task at hand but something deeper. Although people who try too hard believe they’re projecting competence with increased effort, they actually reveal themselves as professionally insecure and needing validation from colleagues. Most of us don’t like being put in that position, so we roll our eyes and seethe under the surface instead of dealing with colleagues who try too hard in a more impactful way. Perhaps we can change that.
Strategies for Working With a Tryhard
1. Understand Their Motivations: Often, colleagues who try too hard are fueled by a desire to excel, gain recognition, or simply fit in. Take the time to understand what drives them. Are they seeking validation, recognition and acceptance? Do they fear failure? By empathizing with their motivations, you can dial down the intensity of your frustrations and find a strategic approach.
2. Set Clear Boundaries: While enthusiasm is commendable, it's essential to establish boundaries to maintain a healthy work environment. Politely assert your own preferences and boundaries, whether it's regarding collaboration styles, communication frequency, or decision-making processes. Channel their desire to please into standards and practices that work for everyone.
3. Communicate Effectively: Open, proactive, and honest communication is key when dealing with a colleague who tries too hard. Provide constructive feedback, focusing on specific behaviors rather than personal traits. Use "I" statements to express how their actions impact you and the team, and state your goals for the health of their working relationships. By fostering a collaborative dialogue aimed at improvement, we can channel their enthusiasm into more productive behaviors.
4. Encourage Strategic Collaboration: Instead of viewing them as a hindrance, leverage their energy and dedication to enhance team collaboration. Assign them tasks where their strengths shine, and foster a sense of shared goals and achievements. By channeling their efforts towards collective success, you can transform potential friction into fruitful collaboration.
5. Lead by Example: Showcasing a balanced approach to work can be a powerful influence on your overzealous colleague. Demonstrate the value of work-life balance, the importance of delegation, and the benefits of taking breaks to recharge. Lead with integrity, authenticity, and a focus on sustainable productivity.
6. Offer Support and Recognition: Acknowledge their contributions and efforts, but also remind them of the value of self-care and resilience. Offer support when needed, whether it's lending a helping hand with tasks or simply providing a listening ear. Celebrate achievements together, reinforcing a culture of appreciation and mutual respect.
Remember, behind the façade of excessive effort is someone who cares about doing a good job Although working with a colleague who tries too hard is challenging, finding compassion for their motivations and using strategies to channel their efforts in a positive direction makes it possible to manage the partnership with empathy and effectiveness. If we manage to strike that balance with colleagues, and also catch ourselves when our insecurities are causing negative impacts on the rest of the team, we foster a culture of understanding in the workplace where we feel valued instead of judged.
Danielle Terranova is the voice behind Leadership Lessons with Danielle.
She has been an executive coach since 2015 and owner of Terranova Consulting, LLC since 2019.
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